Teaching cavemen to turn water into wine

Jesus, armed with His trusty time machine and a twinkle in His eye, materialized in the midst of a bewildered group of cavemen. With a mischievous grin, He decided it was high time to introduce these primitive ancestors to the finer points of viticulture and miracle-working. The Son of God, ever the patient teacher, began by demonstrating the art of grape cultivation to the wide-eyed Neanderthals, who were more accustomed to bonking each other over the head with clubs than tending to delicate fruit vines.

As the cavemen watched in awe, Jesus performed His first miracle in prehistoric times, transforming a puddle of muddy water into a vintage that would make even the most discerning sommelier weep with joy. The cavemen, initially suspicious of the strange purple liquid, soon found themselves thoroughly enjoying their first taste of fermented grapes. Before long, the entire clan was stumbling about, drawing wobbly stick figures on cave walls and attempting to turn various objects into wine through sheer force of will.