The Erectionary of the Divine: A Wizardly Oversight

Synopsis

In the beginning, there was Hole, the Father of Gods. His divine offspring include Turd (god of earth), Fart (god of air), the twins Dia & Rreha (goddesses of water), and Fock. While the gods are busy managing their respective domains and populations – the strong but dim-witted earth-dwellers, the intelligent but frail air-folk, and the numerous, weak, but overwhelming water-dwellers – a new form of oversight is established. Hole, in his infinite (and perhaps slightly exasperated) wisdom, has tasked Fock with recruiting and training three human wizards. These aren't just any wizards; they are imbued with magic potent enough to rival the gods, but with one rather... *specific* limitation: their spells only work when they possess a strong erection. (Rest assured, this is purely for comedic effect, not eroticism!). Meet the newly appointed divine supervisors: Sir Reginald Stiffwood, assigned to the earthy domain of Turd; Bartholomew 'Barty' Breeze, who will keep an eye on Fart; and the formidable duo, Chip and Dale, tasked with monitoring the vast watery realms of Dia and Rreha. Their mission: to ensure the gods are diligently and competently caring for their charges. What follows is a celestial comedy of errors, divine incompetence, and surprisingly effective wizardly intervention. Can Sir Reginald maintain his... *focus*... while Turd is trying to sculpt mountains? Will Barty's spells hold true when Fart's population is literally blowing away? And can Chip and Dale keep their cool (and their magic) when the twins' watery domain threatens to flood the cosmos? Prepare for a tale where divine duty meets biological imperative, and the fate of the cosmos hangs precariously on a very specific kind of power.