So, you've got a voice, maybe an idea, and a burning desire to fill the internet with your audio ramblings? Congratulations, you're about to embark on a journey that's slightly less glamorous than you imagine. This 'guide,' delivered with the kind of tough love only someone who deals with broken code can provide, will walk you through the absolute basics of transforming your shower thoughts into something resembling a podcast. We'll cover the thrilling world of planning (which you'll probably skip), the bewildering array of equipment (just buy something that works, seriously), and the dark arts of recording and editing without making your listeners' ears bleed. Prepare for minimal hand-holding and maximum reality checks. Learn how to 'launch' your show into the crowded digital ether and maybe, just maybe, trick a few strangers into listening regularly. We won't promise fame, fortune, or even a decent download count, but we might just help you avoid sounding like you're recording from inside a tin can. If you're looking for fluffy platitudes, look elsewhere. If you want a sarcastic, no-nonsense (okay, mostly no-nonsense) kick in the pants to get your podcast off the ground without completely embarrassing yourself, you've found your manual. Now stop dreaming and start recording, before you change your mind.