My Boyfriend's a Vampire (and He's Allergic to Garlic Bread)

Synopsis

Penelope Pifflebottom thought her dating life was complicated enough before she met Viktor Nightshade. Viktor isn't just tall, dark, and brooding; he's actually, legitimately, a vampire. Unfortunately for Penelope, Viktor is less ancient, powerful creature of the night and more perpetually awkward immortal who can't seem to grasp modern technology, thinks 'dating' involves stalking his beloved's social media from a distance (because sunlight is *such* a hassle), and, in a truly tragic twist for a creature of darkness, is violently allergic to garlic bread. Their 'romance' is a series of hilariously cringeworthy misadventures involving awkward attempts at flying (he keeps bumping into things), misunderstandings about 'eternal commitment' (he thinks it means never having to pay for dinner), and navigating the tricky social waters of Penelope's very normal friends who just think Viktor needs to eat more iron or maybe just get over himself. As Penelope tries to decide if eternal life with a perpetually clumsy, emotionally stunted vampire is worth the free rent (his coffin is spacious, apparently) and the sheer absurdity of it all, she finds herself unexpectedly drawn to the dorky, fanged immortal. This is a story about finding love in the most ridiculous places, realizing that even vampires have their flaws (many, many flaws), and learning that sometimes, the most monstrous thing about a relationship is the dating part itself.